hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
