im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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