PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
