Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize