Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
false alarm, still single
Randomize