Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
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