I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
