i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize