No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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