its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
