hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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