it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
