Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
