My brain says no but my pants say off.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We are two peas in an std pod
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize