he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
