Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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