Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
