you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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