I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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