that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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