How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize