there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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