You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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