Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
