I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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