benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
