I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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