like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
