and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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