I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
