I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
