i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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