who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
