Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
