He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
