Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I will be naked everywhere
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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