I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I believe in your delicious
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
