I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
