Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
