sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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