Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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