dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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