perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
