guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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