I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
