How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
