Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
