I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
