I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
