He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Fuck appropriateness.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
