Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize