I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
