i was born a porn star she said
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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