You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
either way he was missing a nipple.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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