I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
