I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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