Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
