she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
