did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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