i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
