Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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